January 2006

I had a dream last night that left me feeling a little low. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact it was very nice. I was younger and in high school. My girlfriend lived across the street. My girlfriend in the dream was my wife, my beloved Cindy!

The only part of my dream that I can still remember (and vividly) was looking out my bedroom window at Cindy’s house and watching her come out the door and walk across the street to see me. She’s so beautiful, I can’t stand it! My heart is beating wildly, pounding in my chest at the prospect of holding her, kissing her.

Though it was just a dream, it was so wonderful just to be with her–it seemed so real. But now I have this tremendous feeling of loss. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that ‘melancholy’ is the way I’ll feel for much of my time here.

I miss you, Sweetie.

The exercise is over for Kunsan. Seventh AF is still playing and Osan is very busy. We’re still in exercise-mode, but ability to survive and operate (ATSO) play is over for us so the wing can get ready for the installation excellence award inspection beginning on Sunday evening.

Nice to get out of my field gear and be home at a decent hour. According to wing leadership, the exercise went well, and I certainly learned quite a bit about my unit, the wing and the local IG. Tomorrow I draft my report and it won’t be pretty. I think I have a critique of just about every aspect of this exercise, from the initial planning to the final execution.

…and diplomacy has never been my strong suit!

My first week at Kunsan is over (51 more to go). The week has been very busy. The wing is gearing up for a peninsula-wide exercise that “officially” kicks off this evening (technically, we’re in day 4 of the exercise, but all the “real” stuff starts today…up to now, the scenario was building, with intel about North Korea infiltrating the demilitarized zone, etc.).

I’m working with the IG to evaluate medical response to the exercise inputs. So, in addition to getting a handle on my day-to-day job, I’m also studying contingency response protocols and procedures. Anyway, I’m staying busy. All-in-all, this week shouldn’t be too bad. We’re running 12-hour shifts and I’ll be working days. I normally put in about 10-hours anyway.

It’s Wednesday night and I’m in my room. I’m typing this post in my text editor for posting later. I’ve signed a contract with a local provider and should have a DSL account on Jan 31.

My room is okay. It’s basically a 1-bedroom apartment and was vacated by the person I replaced. I have a living room, kitchen, full bath and of course, a bedroom. I’m sitting at the desk in the living room as I type. The furniture is typical GSA (Gov’t Service Agency) stuff and is well-used, although still in very good condition. The walls are bare and off-white in color. The living room is furnished with a couch, chair, coffee table, desk and 32-inch TV. The living room also has a sink and mirror and a very large closet. The kitchen has a bar that serves as a table, a full-size refrigerator, small stove and oven and a microwave. The cabinet space is sufficient for my needs. The bedroom also has a sink and large closet, a nightstand, a full-size bed and an armoire.

It’ll be nice to get my household goods, so I can make the place a little more “homey.”

The wing chiefs put together a “Hale” (as in “Hello”) for me and another new chief. There are 16 chiefs in the wing. I’m one of three group chiefs, the others manage various squadrons within the groups. The “Hale” took place in the “Chief’s Den,” our lounge (squadron lounges are unique to Kunsan…I’ll write more on lounges later).

The chiefs gave me the chief’s group coin and cap. The group chiefs also presented a “Hawk Chief” jersey (the medical group commander is called “Hawk,” conversely, I’m the “Hawk Chief;” the Mission Support Group chief is “Falcon Chief;” Operations Group is “Viper Chief;” Maintenance Group is “Phoenix Chief;” the 8th Fighter Wing is known as the “Wolf Pack,” so naturally, the wing commander is “Wolf” and the command chief is “Wolf Chief.” The group chiefs were also responsible for the basket of Korean goodies and card that was waiting for me when I arrived.

The jersey is very nice and was made my a local Korean vendor.

This is a small log of my travel from the US to Korea…

Friday, January 13, 2006, it’s 8:15 a.m. (Jan 14) in Seoul. I’ve been in the air for about 3-1/2 hours of a 12-1/2 hour trip (Until the stop in Tokyo, then it’s off to Incheon and a 3-hour bus ride to Kunsan.

34,000 ft/1788 miles/ground speed is 515 mph/Great Slave Lake north of Edmonton, Canada/

I checked my bags this morning and learned that you’re no longer allowed 75 lbs on international flights (at least with United). Anything between 50 and 70 lbs costs $25, but over 70 lbs is a whopping $300! Both of my bags were over 50 lbs and one was over 70 (74.something). I had to move a couple items from the heaver bag to the other. But what do I care, really? the Air Force pays for overweight luggage!

I left Albuquerque at 7:30 a.m. MST and flew to Chicago. It was snowing in ORD at the time of my arrival and I half expected my flight to Korea to be delayed. Fortunately, it wasn’t and we boarded on time. The plane is practically empty. Although the business class section looks full, the economy plus is sparsely populated. I’m in an aisle seat in the middle section of the plane and the only other occupied seat is the aisle seat opposite mine. The extra legroom in the economy plus seats are nice (especially since the government fair wouldn’t allow me to use my miles to upgrade to business class), but the emptiness of the cabin is certainly a bonus.

I’m listening to Rachmoninoff as I type this note to post later on my blog. Dinner was chicken curry–not bad–and a cabernet sauvignon from Santiago, Chile. It wasn’t bad–fruity, but not too sweet and a bit earthy. I had two glasses, then finished up with a cup of coffee (United Airlines serves Starbucks coffee.

I spoke to Cindy before I boarded the plane in Chicago. I miss her very much and am feeling a little down. She says she’s just gonna lay around the house today and I don’t blame her–I’d be doing the same thing.

Approaching Fairbanks, AK/551 mph/36,000 ft/3539 miles to go (2776 miles traveled)/Soon we’ll be over the Pacific.

I just walked back to the flight attendants station to get a cup of coffee–through the economy section. Man! Talk about crowded…the seats are so close together I don’t know how anyone could get comfortable. There are quite a few people standing around in the aisle and near the lavatories. I would be, too, if forced to sit in those cramped seats.

The Japanese man seated in front of me is very restless. His movements are sharp and harsh, thrusting his head into the back of the seat to get it to recline.

2392 miles to go/Over the Bearing Sea and just crossing the international date line/I’ve been in the air for 7-1/2 hours…just 5 hours to go.

I watched “The Brothers Grimm” (one of the flight’s movies) and wasn’t impressed. About the only thing it did for me was take up a couple of hours. The flight attendants served a hot noodle bowl which was pretty good. Another cup of coffee and some orange juice. I’m feeling a bit dehydrated despite all the water I’ve been drinking, and my head is starting to hurt a bit.

Just over 1,000 miles to go. Over the Pacific Ocean now and approaching Japan. My head hurts and I can’t relax. I’m drinking more water to try to hydrate, but these little airline cups just aren’t getting it–I need about a liter. I wonder if they’d give me one of those big bottles they keep totting around?

Just 200 miles to go and we’re in a holding pattern just off the coast of Japan. Evidently, it’s raining pretty hard at Norita Airport. We should be heading in shortly as soon as we finish this loop). Another meal was served about an hour ago and I had some pasta stuffed shells. I wasn’t really too hungry, but wasn’t sure when I’d eat again. My head still hurts.

Back in the air again and heading for Incheon Airport in Seoul, Korea. We sat on the plane for 2 hours waiting for clearance to take-off–it was raining pretty hard, but didn’t seem bad enough to back us up like it did. Oh well, it doesn’t matter now, we’re in the air. The flight-time is about 1 hour, 45 minutes. My headache has subsided a bit. I bought a couple bottles of water at Norita and took a couple of Alieve.

Norita was an interesting experience. My layover was about 2 hours, so naturally everyone had to grab their stuff and depart the plane. You’d think we’d just hang around the gate, right? Nope! To get to the gate, we had to go through security which took about 40 minutes. My head’s going ka-pound, ka-pound, ka-pound and I’m standing in a line of people in the security line. Doesn’t anyone consider how ridiculous this is? I just got off the fucking plane!

I arrived at Kunsan at 3:30 a.m. The bus, the “Wolfpack Wheels,” left Incheon just after midnight. I thought I was going to miss the bus–the last bus–because we arrived so late, but they held it for us.

Anyway, I’m here now and just got off the phone with my wife. I miss her so much! It was great to hear her voice. I must have sounded like hell warmed over.

My head still hurts a little bit, but it’s much better than it was a few hours ago. I need to get to bed.

My wife and I went to the movie theater yesterday to see a show. The price of admission with the big tub-o-popcorn and two drinks was about $26–not too bad these days. We arrived early enough to get good seats in the center of the theater and the stadium seating allowed an unobstructed view of the screen. The theater was a little crowded, but not annoyingly so and the patrons were courteous enough–no cell phones going off during the picture or excessive talking. The only thing precluding my total enjoyment of the movie was the aroma wafting down from the woman who sat behind me!

You’re thinking body-odor, right? WRONG! This offensive stench came in the form of perfume! Now tell me, isn’t the purpose of wearing perfume to smell good? When wearing perfume doesn’t one wish to simply give a hint of the fragrance to those transacting with the perfume wearer? So, what was the deal with this woman? Why did she apply her perfume so liberally as to overwhelm my olfactive tolerance?

Maybe she had a bad head-cold and didn’t realize that just because she couldn’t smell herself didn’t mean that others wouldn’t flee from her because of the awful burning in their eyes and nostrils! Maybe she just bought the most expensive jar of perfume ever and wanted the entire world to witness her extravagance! Maybe she’s on a one-woman crusade to bring down the entertainment industry and the perfume is the equivalent of chemical warfare designed to clear each theater she visits!

Maybe she’s just incredibly stupid!

In the story “Hills Like White Elephants,” Ernest Hemingway narrates from the objective point-of-view. This very limited technique forces the author to look to other writing elements to define his characters. In the story, Hemingway uses elements in the setting as symbols to define the dynamic characterization of two travelers. The travelers movement within the setting emphasizes their change in outlook at the end of the story. The first clue is found in the images that make up the general setting.

The story takes place in a train stationed positioned “between two lines of rails in the sun.” Assuming the lines run in opposite directions, the first clue to the conflict is evident: the choice between having the abortion or having the child. The station is positioned in a valley between two distinctly different scenes. On one side are a line of long, white hills where there is “no shade and no trees; on the other are “fields of grain and trees along the banks of the Ebro.” Obviously, the barren side represents the barrenness of the abortion and the sterility of their relationship to this point–the man’s side. The other side, lush with growth, represents fertility, childbirth and the promise of a new way of life–the girl’s side.

When the story opens we find “the American and the girl” sitting at a table outside a train station in Spain discussing what to do about her pregnancy. The man believes an abortion is the solution to their problem, but the girl is unsure and reluctant to concede to his whim. At first, the man and the girl are facing the barren side of the station, which represents their current lifestyle and the man’s point-of-view. It is here the girl comments that the hills “look like white elephants.” Like a gift that has no use but can’t be thrown away, the white elephant represents the unborn child. The man comments, that he’s “never seen [a white elephant]” and the girl replies, “No, you wouldn’t have.” In this transaction we discover the conflict in the girl and the man’s lack of understanding or consideration for her feelings. The girl again comments on the status of their relationship in the observation that her drink, “…tastes like licorice…everything tastes like licorice” and all they do is “…look at things and try new drinks.” The man comments, “I guess so,” signifying his complacency. At this point the discussion moves to the subject of the abortion.

The man, the dominant figure, attempts to placate the girl and win her acquiescence. He insists that the “simple operation…isn’t really an operation at all”, it’s “perfectly natural.” He indicates that when it’s over, their relationship will be “just like [it was] before.” The girl, sensing that things will never be the same states, “…you think then we’ll be all right and happy.” The discussion continues, prompting the man to say, “I think it’s the best thing to do. But I don’t want you to do it if you don’t really want to.” The girl finally replies, “Then I’ll do it. Because I really don’t care about me.” The sarcasm of that statement is evident, in light of the man’s response, “I don’t want you to do it if you feel that way.” At this point, the girl seems to move toward a decision.

Getting up from the table the girl walks to the other side of the station; the fertile side–her side–and the man follows. As “…the shadow of a cloud [moves] across the field of grain,” she sees “the river through the trees.” The girl says, “And we could have all this…every day we make it more impossible,” realizing that is she goes through with the abortion they could never have the life represented by the fertile valley she gazed upon. The man insists that they can, but the girl counters with “…once they take it away, you can never get it back.” Perhaps sensing that he’s losing ground, the man tells the girl to “Come back in the shade,” bringing her back to the barren side–his side–of the station. Once again the man insists that he doesn’t “want [her] to do anything that [she doesn't] want to do…” The girl replies, “Nor that isn’t good for me.” Indicating that the abortion isn’t what is in her best interest. The man, sensing this says, “All right. But you’ve got to realize…” only to be cut off in mid-sentence by the girl who says, “I realize…Can’t we stop talking.” At this point the girl has made up her mind and attempts to put an end to the conversation. However, the man hasn’t given up, yet.

Continuing his previous thought, the man states, “you’ve got to realize…that I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want to. I’m perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.” Of course, her reply, “Doesn’t it mean anything to you? We could be happy” is an attempt to make him understand. His final plea, “Of course it does [mean something to me]. But I don’t want anybody but you. I don’t want any one else. And I know it’s perfectly simple,” only elicits a sarcastic reply, “Yes, you know it’s perfectly simple.” The girl, now in control, asks the man, “Would you do something for me now?” To which he replies, “I’d do anything for you.” SHe asks him to “…please, please, please, please, please, please stop talking.” As the man looks at their bags noticing the “labels on them from all the hotels where they had spent nights,” he finally accepts the girl’s decision and states, “But I don’t want you to…I don’t care anything about it.” The man’s decision is fully evident at the end of the story.

When the waitress announces “The train comes in five minutes,” the man states, “I’d better take the bags over to the other side [her side] of the station.” The girl, seeming happy for the first time in the story, “Smile[s] at him” and says “all right. Then come back and we’ll finish the beer.” The man “carries the bags around the station to the other tracks” and walks back through the barroom, “where people waiting for the train were drinking.” He notices that they, just as he and the girl, were “all waiting reasonably for the train.” Returning to the girl, she smiles and he asks, “Do you feel better?” and she replies, “I feel fine…There’s nothing wrong with me. I feel fine.” The girl is at last content. The decision has been made to have the baby.

In the story, “Hills Like White Elephants,” Ernest Hemingway uses symbolism and setting to convey the dynamic characterization of the “American and the girl.” The train station poised in the middle of both barren and fertile ground and the man and the girl moving between the two settings illustrates their conflict and final resolution. Throughout the course of the story, both the man and the girl changed their original outlook. The girl, committing to the baby, has stopped straddling the fence and the man, committing to the girl, has done a complete “one-eighty.”

This evening I’m thinking about some of my favorite classical music. What makes the music most interesting to me is the story behind them…

1. The first piece is “Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini” by Sergi Rachmaninoff. The piece is a set of 24 variations on the twenty-fourth and last of Niccolo Paganini’s Caprices for solo violin. The piece contains three sections, each corresponding to three movements of a concerto. The 18th variation is the most prolific, and is often fractured in classical music compilations and in movies without the rest of the work (”Somewhere in Time” and “Ronin” to name a couple). This variation, on first listening doesn’t appear to contain the original theme. Rachmaninoff inverted the score of the original theme to obtain the theme for this variation. The piece is one of several by Rachmaninoff to quote the “Dies Irae” plainchant (or plain-song–a chant) melody (its believed this is a reference to the legend that Paganini sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his violin-playing skills and the love of a woman). The 18th variation begins about 14:20 into the piece. Incidentally, “Dies Irae” is a Latin hymn describing the Day of Judgment.
2. The third movement from Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony, “Eroica.” Originally written as a tribute to Napoleon, Beethoven changed the name of the symphony to “Eroica” when he discovered what a scumbag Napoleon was. This movement is a scherzo. It’s a fast movement in 3/4 time and in this symphony essentially represents a peasant dance.
3. “The Toreador Song” from the opera “Carmen” by Georges Bizet. Where Beethoven’s 3rd is my favorite symphony, “Carmen” is my favorite opera. Carmen is a gypsy who entices a soldier, Don Jose, to help her escape imprisonment by the police guard. Although her “love” for Don Jose may have been genuine at the time, she soon grows board with the young soldier and rejects him. Later when Don Jose finds Carmen at a bullfight on the arm of Escamillo, a matador, he confronts her, and in the operas final moments, stabs her and confesses his crime. “The Toreador Song” is our introduction to Escamillo as he enters a bar. The song, in French, speaks of the thrill of the bullfight, the majesty of the matador and the honor of the bull.
4. The next piece is commonly called “The Habanera,” and is also from the opera “Carmen.” This is Carmen speaking to Don Jose and telling him the meaning of love. She says, in the first line,
   

   “L’amour est un oiseau rebelled, Que nul ne peut apprivosier, Et c’est bien en vain qu’on l’appelle, a’il lui convient de refuser.” 

   Which means, “Love is a rebellious bird that nobody can tame, and it’s all in vain to call it if it chooses to refuse.” Which, of course, foreshadows the tragic end to the opera. Teresa Berganza performs my absolute favorite rendition.

5. “Jupiter, the bringer of Jollity” from Gustav Holst’s “The Planets.” As you listen to this piece, think of every movie soundtrack you’ve ever heard. You’ll discover that all the great movie music comes from Holst. “Jupiter” was written in the early 1900’s and bears Holst’s love of English folks song and dance. I hear some “western” theme music in there somewhere (think “The Magnificent Seven”)
6. Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 in F” was sent into outer space on the Voyager spacecraft. Imagine an alien race that finds this unmanned spacecraft with plates depicting a human male and female and the location of earth. What will these beings think when they hear this music? This is Baroque at it’s best!
7. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s, “Eine Kline Nachtmusic” (literally, “A little night music”, or, less literally, “A little serenade”), is one of Mozart’s most popular compositions. It was written in 1787 in Vienna. The work was written for a chamber ensemble of two violins, viola, and cello with optional double bass (it is often performed today with more than one person to a part). The opening tune of the first movement is the most widely recognized.
8. The “Anvil Chorus” from Giuseppe Verdi’s, “Il Trovatore” (The Troubadour) was written in the 1850s and depicts Spanish gypsies striking their anvils at dawn and singing the praises of hard work, good wine and their gypsy women. Note the clanging anvils during the refrain of this chorus. Translated, the chorus says,
   

   See how the clouds melt away from the face of the sky when the sun shines,
   its brightness beaming;
   just as a widow, discarding her black robes,
   shows all her beauty in brilliance gleaming.
   So, to work now! Lift up your hammers!
   Who turns the gypsy’s day from gloom to brightest sunshine?
   His lovely gypsy maid!
   Fill up the goblets!
   New strength and courage flow from lusty wine to soul and body.
   See how the rays of the sun play and sparkle
   and give to our wine gay new splendor.
   So, to work now! …

9. “Bolero” by Maurice Ravel was written for a large orchestra. It premiered at the Paris Opera in 1928. The piece has a very simple structure and consists almost entirely of a single melody, repeated over and over again, orchestrated differently each time, but otherwise unchanging. It begins quietly and as the melody is passed between instruments, the accompaniment gradually becomes thicker and louder (a crescendo). I love the finale when the entire orchestra is playing.
10. Beethoven’s 6th Symphony. The first movement is my favorite, entitled, “awakening of cheerful feeling on arriving in the country.” Whereas “Eroica” fulfils the symphony’s potential for tragic poetry, the 6th symphony is a translation of peace, tranquility and serenity. Due to his growing deafness, which began in 1802, Beethoven sought refuge in nature, which certainly inspired this work. You can hear this piece in the movie “Soylent Green”…it’s playing as Edward G. Robinson dies.

I signed-out of the base today. My tenure with the IG is over and I’ll be moving back to the operational world shortly. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed these last two years and can honestly say for the first time in my career, I’m actually leaving things better than they were when I arrived. I can actually see the impact of my contributions to the AFMS. In this job, I effected change and it feels good. The things I learned here will make me a better leader and manager in the years to come.

Many of the AFMS leaders I’ve come in contact with while with the IG, weren’t very happy with my observations (which often resulted in inspection findings and sometimes program failures), but that’s the nature of the beast. They didn’t seem to understand that I had a responsibility to the Air Force to identify and report those program deficiencies that effected mission readiness. These individuals couldn’t see the forest through the trees and like school children would pout and whine when told that their stuff was fucked up! On the other hand, many, especially senior leaders, understood and appreciated my reports and expressed their appreciation and admiration.

I guess General George S. Patton said it best when describing the IG…

“A typical IG is a man past middle age, spare, wrinkled, cold, passive, non-committal, with eyes of a codfish, polite in contact, but at the same time unresponsive, calm, and damnably composed as a concrete post or a plaster of paris cast, a human petrification with a heart of feldspar and without charm or friendly germ, minus bowels, passion, or a sense of humor. Happily, they never reproduce and all of them finally go to hell.”

…and that suits me just fine!

Today I signed-out of my unit and tomorrow, I’ll sign-out of the base. Although I really wasn’t interested in any kind of farewell ceremony, my colleagues put together a little lunch and made some presentations. Lots of kind words and “we’ll miss you’s” and stuff like that. The only real surprise was a gift from the “BEEs” (bioenvironmental engineers). Evidently, I made an impression on these folks…go figure! Anyway, when they made the presentation, they prefaced it with “…and if you’ve ever ridden in a car with him you’ll understand the meaning behind the gift.”

It was a “Speed Racer” t-shirt.

I watched “Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year” last night. Mainly because Dick Clark was supposed to return after his absence last year. He did return, but it was so sad. His speech was slurring a bit due to his stroke and they never actually showed him on screen (except for midnight, when he was giving his wife a kiss).

I didn’t realize the stroke had affected him in this way. I grew up with Dick Clark (hell, my dad grew up with Dick Clark!) and although I was saddened by his affliction, my chest swelled with pride and respect for his endurance and dedication. I’m glad I was able to experience his return to the New Year’s Eve celebration he’s hosted since the early ’70s.